Monday, February 07, 2011

El arte de ligar nalgas en Plaza Las Américas

Opinión sobre post: 
No es fácil ligar unas nalgas sin que te manguen. Al menos no para la gran mayoría de los hombres, pero para mi es un mamey. Por décadas me he especializado en el arte de confundir con la mirada perdida en el espacio mientras tengo la mente y el enfoque del ojo apuntando a un destino deseado: unas nalgas de mujer puertorriqueña.  Escoger qué nalgas ligar también requiere conocimiento, experiencia y sabiduría callejera, combinación perfecta que la vida, los viejos de la plaza de Bayamón y el internet me han enseñado.  Descubrí que tenia talento a mis 6 años cuando me dejaban en un cuido/barbershop en Plaza Las Américas para que me recortaran y jugara con otros nenes, mientras mami se iba a las tiendas tranquila. Yo odiaba ese sitio con cojones. Lo odiaba tanto que ya siendo adulto cada vez que paso frente al espacio donde estaba ese negocio me dan ganas de romper zafacones de La Terraza. Fue en este sitio donde mi aburrimiento comenzó a canalizarse en estar atento y pendiente a las nalgas de las madres de otros bebes que dejaban allí.  Poco a poco comencé a jugar con la mirada, la velocidad del ojo, la meditación ocular, la posición de la cara y la quijada… y empecé a crear una rutina mágica donde podía mirar cualquier cosa como águila americana sin que me mangaran.  Es allí, en ese espacio odioso, donde me convertí en un ligón de nalgas profesional.


Ya tengo definido varios sitios perfectos para ser un buen ligón en Plaza Las Américas.

1. Detrás de las escaleras eléctricas en la fuente
2. En la Terraza, cerca de Time Out y frente a Forever 21
3. Un banquito frente a Sears  (el que tiene lo electrónico)
4. Por donde esta Sony Store

Con toda honestidad, hay mas sitios, pero los tengo reservados pues yo me paso en esos mas a menudo y no quiero gente invadiendo mi terreno.  Para ligar unas nalgas, debes estar relax, no puedes mostrar miedo ni prisa. Si tienes cara de que te estas cagando o de un nenito pajú de 16 años, te vas a delatar y te van a mangar bien asquerosamente. Las mujeres de hoy saben. Si tu me hubieses preguntado en el 1994, yo te hubiese dicho que no se daban cuenta, pero las de hoy son mas sabias, están entrenadas y tienen truquitos aun por descifrar.

Me he ligado todo tipo de nalga femenina. Ya que soy un veterano y la experiencia es vasta, solamente me enfoco en las que usan mahones que las hagan verse mas culonas de lo que son. Hoy día, gracias a modelos como La Burbu y Maripily, esos tipos de mahones están de moda y gracias a Dios nos hacen la vida mas fácil y placentera.  He visto tanta nalga en Plaza Las Américas que si no voy y no me ligo al menos 10 nalgas chéveres, no siento que fui a Plaza. Ya es parte de mi.

Recuerda, ligar nalgas es un arte. Si no sabes hacerlo, no lo intentes. Estás advertido.



129 comments:

Miguel C. Adrover Lausell said...

Me gusta tu estilo, te espoteas. El mío es un poco más dinámico. Me gusta ligar mientras camino por Plaza. Claro está, envuelve más riesgo. Pero estoy convencido de que caminar y ligar se parece más a la cacería, es más ancestral. Ahora, si combinamos tu estrategia y la mía (espoteo y caminar) hay que ser todavía más cuidadoso. De un inocente ligón, puedes convertirte en un stalker. Es digno de admirar el titán que se atreva, pero estoy casi seguro de que va a pasar la tarde en las oficinas de seguridad, cerca de Chili's en la Terraza.

Manny Colón said...

Miguel, ese estilo dinamico funciona tambien.. hay que tener cuidado, te recomiendo unas gafas como las mias que no se te ve para nada el ojo y puedes ligar tranquilo, sin que te de perse.

Miguel C. Adrover Lausell said...

Las gafas son un buen toque. Todo lo que contribuya a evitar el desculeo es vital para preservar el arte.

Mierdoso said...

A todos nos gusta ligar nalgas y ahora me puse mas contento por saber q es un arte tambien! Las nalgas que habitan en Plaza Las Americas estan brutales, y ahora con esta guia detallada va a ser mejor! Deberias hacer una guia pa las universidades mano... ahi hay muchas tambien. Saludos cabron!

Manny Colón said...

Miguel.. las gafas fueron creadas por hombres, por alguna razon fue.

Mierdoso, guia para las universidades me parece buena idea... hay mucha tela por donde cortar

Anonymous said...

Manny, tu no sabes si hay literatura que indique como nació ese arte y en que año?

chely said...

carajo Manny lo hiciste otra vez, oh Dios y yo pensaba que estaba solo, I'm so alive somos muchos...

Manny Colón said...

Anonimo, me he puesto a buscar, pero creo que en la Biblia salen cosas de esas... y eso fue hace tiempo con cojones...

chely, no te entendi.. pero eres un sendo hijoeDios.

MORFEA said...

Manny que bueno que tocas este tema por que justamente hoy estaba pensando en las nalgas que me iluminan....Jajajajaja!!

Por que ligar nalgas no es exclusivo de ustedes...NO!!
Algunas mujeres tambien tenemos "Talento" para ligar y no solo las nalgas de otras mujeres...Mentiria si dijera que cuando veo a un hombre caminar de frente lo imagino sin ropa y no puedo evitar mirarle la cremallera para darme una idea del "paquete".....Claro,teniendo cuidado a no ser descubierta y si te descubren,no queda mas que tirarte la sonrisa inocente e ingenua....Jajajaja!!!

Salud!!!

Manny Colón said...

Morfea, cuando te ligas a los hombres y te imaginas todas esas cosas... que haces despues?

MORFEA said...

Manny,Lo mismo que haces tu....Solo deleitar la pupila y alimentar el morbo de la imaginacion.

Paola said...

Pensé qe abundarías en los tipos de nalgas en Puerto Rico, espero un log sobre eso.

Manny Colón said...

Paola, los tipos de nalgas eso viene pronto.. va a ser epico

Morfea, mira! pa mi que tu haces otras cositas...

merdocrata said...

Te guillas Manny tengo un pana que le sacará probecho mucho a esto. Tu que eres de la calaña más "especial" de Bayamón, tirate los spots en Plaza del Sol jeje.

Sin_Memoria said...

http://tiempoperdido2.blogspot.com/

Mannito me paso jodiendote en el fb soy el de la foto de la muejr peluda aqui me anime hacer un blog d fotos espero q pases

Zamanta (ladyambar) said...

Arranca pal carajo Manny, que las chicas tambien tenemos derecho. Y ultimamente no se que carajo pasa los hombres hoy dia no se alimentan o algo porque esta el chumbo que hace orilla.

Gracias a Dios que yo me case con un Cayallo.

Manny Colón said...

Zamanta.. donde carajos tu estas? Hablame mas a menudo!!

Sin Memoria.. gracias el link..

Sin_Memoria said...

somos chumbo pq lo tenemos alfrente todo

Anonymous said...

manny cual es tu emailpara enviarte algo para el boricua power?

Lylyhec said...

Bueno, bueno ya se por dónde pasar cuando quiera subirme la moral algún día. Te veo por allí Manny...

Manny Colón said...

mannypr2000@gmail.com

participa.

Manny Colón said...

Sin_Memoria... es cierto.. to bolas.

Lyly.. pasa por alli para ligarte.. tu estas buena

Omar said...

Bueno, fíjate que dicho arte pica y se extiende de igual manera a éstas tierras, donde abunda el buen culo. Y me he puesto a observar que por ejemplo hace 10 o 15 años atrás, la calidad "cular" (me perdonas el neologismo) no era la misma que la hoy en día. Uno realmente se queda loco con lo que puede ver caminando por ahi tan impunemente.
Alguna vez pensé en una "Guía del buen culo tuyero".

Me gustó el post. Mundial, compa.

Manny Colón said...

Omar, gracias mi hermano... algun dia nos mandas fotos de los culos por alla...

Sica said...

Gracias por los tips, lo acabo de leer en la fila de Krispy Kreme de Caguas que por cierto parece que el criterio de los que reclutan aquí es que hay que ser sendo chumbo, que te puedo decir!

Manny Colón said...

Sica, eso me han dicho... yo una vez fui a ese Krispy Kreme y senti bochorno, somos boricuas y entonces alli vienen y contratan gente chumba?! algarete

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