Monday, January 09, 2012

Talento, mujer, chisme

Opinión sobre post: 


Estaba en el balcón rascándome los webos esperando a que llegara esta supuesta chica sexy que me prometió mi vecino. El sudor del suspenso puro me bajaba por la cara, llegando a mi nariz y el cuello, zonas donde se me acumula sudor y comienzan las bacterias y células muertas a descomponerse emanando un aroma putrefacto, peste bubónica, a pesar de estar en vida.  El olor comienza leve, pero su intensidad es infinita. Descubrí que tenia este talento en el 1995 cuando una amiga me quería besar y tan pronto su nariz hizo contacto con mi nariz grasosa una respiración profunda arrastró hacia ella gotitas microscópias de mi sudor conteniendo olores peor que una mierda preservada en un plato de arroz chino de los de llevar.  En un experimento que hice me pasé un deo por el culo y otro deo por la nariz y el deo por la nariz olia peor.  La gran ventaja de este talento es que puedo inmobilizar a alguien con tan solo una gotita de aceite de nariz.

Por supuesto, el tema es otro. En una apuesta con mi vecino logré convencerlo a que me presentara a alguna de sus amigas para que me visitara a casa y pueda darle un tour de mi cuarto, el baño y el patio de casa que está to cagao de mojones de Moco Parte 3 y quizás de papi. Luego de eso, la llevaria a comer a Casa Mofongo donde le contaria chistes dominicanos y la vez que me comí un huevo de gallita con un feto de pollito por dentro.  Gracias a Dios que gané la apuesta y esperaba frente a casa por ella. 

La apuesta consistía en preparar limbers con un pelo e' bicho flotando en el centro para que no se notara cuando los vendiera a vecinos de por casa.  Lo insólito del vacilón es que una persona me compró tres un día y al otro día me compró cuatro. Por alguna razón, no se dio cuenta del pelo y se lo esmandó mientras los chupaba.  Por eso yo siempre digo que hay personas que le gusta comer pelo e' bicho pues se remontan en las veces que vieron la chocha de sus madres. Es algo que leí en un libro… o en una revista Luz… o en la Biblia. No recuerdo bien.

Mientras esperaba en el balcón me quedé dormido. Nunca llegó la muchacha.  Al otro día por la mañana llamo a mi vecino y el cabrón me cuenta que la tipa no pudo llegar porque tuvo un accidente automovilístico en Caguas.  Lo que mi vecino no sabe es que 4 días despues de todo ese revolú, me enteré que ambos se encontraron a chichar en Las Villas el día que me iba a encontrar con ella… Y lo se porque tengo todavía espías trabajando allí y me chotean todo lo que ven.  Bueno, ellos fueron los que me chotearon que vieron a Manny Manuel con un “amigo” en un cuarto comiendo pollo frito con papas de Flor De Lotus. Y todo el mundo sabe que el que coma pollo frito con papas de Flor de Lotus es un sendo bugarrón.

21 comments:

Mierdoso said...

JAJAJAJAJA! Que puerco eres cabrón!

Anonymous said...

Tipo realmente me haces reir, como puedo contactarte, soy representante artistico.

Anonymous said...

hablas kaka..pero...los politicos hablan mas mierda que tu.....

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