Friday, August 05, 2011

Las palomas bebés


Llevaba todo el día jugando baloncesto en la cancha frente a casa. Los panas míos me invitaron a una cafetería por el pueblo que venden unos sándwiches mega cabrones.  Fuimos pa' allá, entramos al negocio y pedí dos de esos sándwiches (uno se llama La Caspa de Dios de lo poderoso que es) y me senté un rato a esperar en una de las mesas mientras ojeaba el periódico Primera Hora, el periódico más neutral de Puerto Rico. En esa espera, entra un deambulante al local y rápido la doña que estaba cobrando lo mandó pal carajo.  Me dió pena ver al tipo ese ser despachado tan inhumanamente y por joder me fui pa’ fuera también. Los panas míos estaban ordenando comida, pero se quedaron adentro.  El deambulante se quedó mirándome fijamente a los ojos, como si estuviera analizando mi alma.  Le ofrecí una peseta. El tipo la cogió y me lo agradeció.  Este individuo usaba tres camisas y un jacket de cuero, un mahón marrón y unos zapatos blancos. En sus días posiblemente era salsero (periquero). Comenzó a hablar cosas sin sentido, pero poco a poco mi mente sincronizaba con sus palabras hasta que lograba decodificar su dialecto mundano bayamonés. (En Bayamón existen tres dialectos principales. Está el Barbosa que es una mezcla de caco con nuyorican, el Concreto que usualmente lo hablan la gente que viven en urbanizaciones caras y el Campestre que lo usan los residentes de Bayamón Sur.)

Entre toda la bazofia y palabrería, escuché salir como peo de una mujer dormida una pregunta existencialista que nunca había escuchado. Esa pregunta estaba acompañada de una gran duda, de una observación primitiva, quizás más profunda que la misma vida o la clavá que le dio Barea a Zuleyka. El deambulante se preguntaba “¿Alguna vez has visto una paloma bebé?” Yo le contesté que había visto algunas, pero que son bien raras ver en la calle o en los techos.  Rápidamente el tipo me dice… “Exacto, existen millones de palomas, pero bien raras ver sus crías”.  No entendí con qué venía el viejo apestoso ese, pero le seguí la corriente.  Por alguna razón cambió el tema y empezó a hablar de las veces que la mamá le quemaba las tetillas con cigarrillos… tema que me dio sueño y me fui de regreso pa’ la cafetería con los panas a comerme los sándwiches.

De regreso a casa, me quedé pensando en las crías de las palomas… las palomas bebés. Son pocas, nunca se ven… pero aun así, las palomas adultas son millones. Algo no encajaba. Mi pasión por las palomas no culminó con ese pensamiento. Me puse a leer libros sobre biología, genética, historia de las aves,  pornografía, etc. Luego de dos días de mucha lectura y cagadas anales, me di cuenta que estaba analizando el problema mal desde el principio. Tenía que enfocarme en la sustancia y no cogerlo literal. Entré a un debate existencialista conmigo mismo que duro 4 días consecutivos, encerrado en el cuarto con poco contacto humano (solo hubo contacto de mano con bicho y bicho con fotografía porno).  Al amanecer del cuarto día, mis ojos se abren espontáneamente, miro por la ventana y en la lejanía veo una paloma bebé saliendo de un nido en un árbol bien alto.  Recordé la figura del deambulante y luego de todo este forcejeo intelectual entendí lo que el deambulante me quería decir desde un principio: “Nada”. 

48 comments:

Kim said...

Sinceramente Me encantó!
Muchas veces nos inundan de mucha mierda hablando, y no significa nada.

Mierdoso said...

Manny no seas tan cabrón y termines los posts así... jajaja! Eres la ley.

Brenda G. said...

wow...definitivamente que esa lucha intelectual tuvo que haber sido terriblemente difícil, pero toda lucha intelectual siempre termina en lo mismo: NADA

Anonymous said...

A cosas asi yo le digo churra mental.

Anonymous said...

QUIZAS FUE UNA VERDADERA BASOFIA LO QUE DIJO EL DEAMBULANTE O QUIZAS NO.....ES RARO VER PALOMAS BEBES PERO VEMOS MUCHAS PALOMAS ADULTAS, METAFORICAMENTE......VEMOS MUCHISIMA GENTE PERO MUY POCAS CON BUEN SENTIDO DEL HUMOR, BUENAS NOCHES, ATT JESY

Unknown said...

Kim, gracias por entrar y comentar...

Mierdoso... te amo.

Brenda.... así mismo es

Anonimo... exacto.

Jesy, DTBPEC

Por cierto, detrás de este escrito hay mensajes filosóficos ocultos.. o quizás nada.

Anonymous said...

Tanta mierda para nada

Anonymous said...

Soy de Bayamón Sur y puedo decir que me siento como todo un puto jíbaro gracias a Manny Colón pero me importa un bicho. Tu reflexion sobre los pajaritos demuestra que el título de tu blog le hace honor a lo que eres. Dios te bendiga PEC

Anonymous said...

Coño, Manny, ese escrito es digno de una revista de domingo en El Nuevo Día. Confieso que se me salieron las lágrimas en la parte que le quemaron las tetillas con cigarrillos cuando chiquito. Un hermoso tema de reflexión. Yeah peo!

DTB-PEC

Héctor L. said...

Nunca he leído en los análisis cotidianos de Mayra Montero ni el las novelas de Mayra Santos Febres algo igual, ni nunca lo leeré. Ni el Dr. Luis Rafael Sánchez, que es un genio de la palabra, ha escrito cosa igual. Ese sentido amplio para la descomposición de un todo para llegar a la "NADA". Una conclusión perfecta. Sólo me resta escribir: "Genial".

papamendo said...

Hoy estaba comiendo arroz chino y me encontré al papá de mi ex-novia y gracias al poder divino de los restaurantes chinos el tipo me saludó bien contento y amigable. Gracias Manny por enseñarme el poder del arroz chino!

antigonum cajan said...

Este post deja en evidencia la superioridad de la educacion de las personas que no tienen seis decadas de edad como este. En el sin igual pais de Caguas, en Savarona, donde me crie antes de la nvasion del oeste, no eran bebes sino PICHONES DE PALOMA o lo que....fuese...

Anonymous said...

Perate, perate, perate... Antigonum tu eres sexagenario?? No se por que pero eso te hacer ver aun mas 'creepy'.

Slimmavas said...

Wow sinceramente que te gustan los plmiferos.

Antigonum cajan debe ser un viejo solitario, no puedo creer que aun exista.

antigonum cajan said...

Antigonum no solo existe, te puede retar a jugar basket, tenis de mesa, billar, patearte el culo i ganarte a las pehcozah. Que te parece? Peso pesado, 6'2" 220.

antigonum cajan said...

Lenny alla en kiskeya la bella hay luz? Por cierto es velda que alla solo exportan putas i peloteros? Te voy tirando suave...a ver con lo que cuentas...

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