Monday, March 21, 2011

Defensor de palomas

Opinión sobre post: 

Me dio mucho coraje  lo que vi que tuve que decirle con tono de voz serio y preocupado a la señora que vende el maíz y los pitipuás que las palomas tienen sentimientos y necesitan amor.

Para explicarles mejor, 5 minutos antes la señora de las palomas (una vieja que vive amargada por situaciones de su vida personal y que por acto de magia terminó vendiendo comida pa’ palomas y dulces típicos expirados) salió de su caseta de cemento y fue a donde unos americanos que estaban acariciando una paloma mientras se tomaban fotos. La vieja fue a regañarlos y decirles que está prohibido agarrar las palomas. Yo estaba lejos mirando como buen ligón y voy caminando rápido hacia donde estaba ella (como gordito abusado físicamente por cacos cargando una furia fantasiosa) para poner respeto en la cuna de todas las palomas de Puerto Rico: El Parque de Las Palomas. Es aquí cuando le digo a ella que a las palomas le gusta que las agarren y que le den comida con la mano. La vieja bien cabronamente empezó a hablar malo frente a niños y tuvo que venir un guardia municipal a frontearse de guapetón y poner orden. Yo me puse las gafas a lo David Caruso en CIA Miami y le dije a la vieja frente a toda la multitud que nos miraba: “Con las palomas no se juega...cabrona” A lo lejos se escucho un nene gritando “Yeaaaaah” para complementar el soundtrack del momento.


Como ven, yo soy un fiel defensor de las palomas de este país. Son las palomas las que nos dan frutos, alegría, sorpresas, cuentos, chistes, buenos momentos, situaciones familiares, simpatía, autorreflexión, crecimiento espiritual…

Hay cosas obvias: las palomas cagan con cojones (especialmente sobre personas y carros), la palomas traen enfermedades venéreas, como el SIDA y al cáncer de tetilla, las palomas comen con cojones, las palomas no cantan, las palomas son ariscas (como las mujeres hormonales) y las palomas son traicioneras.  Pero estas cosas no sobrepasan lo positivo de las mismas.  Si pones todo en una balanza te vas a dar cuenta que las palomas son una bendición de Dios por el culo. Algo bien positivo, en particular a personas que sufren de derrame anal.

Termino diciendo que la vieja al ver mi dedicación me ofreció ser oficial de seguridad y supervisión de palomas por dos días.  En ese tiempo, me toco limpiar los nidos de palomas, les di de comer, vi huevitos, un bebe bien morón trato de beber agua de una fuente pa' las palomas y vi como una paloma le cagaba el pelo frondoso a Carlos Díaz Olivo.  Momentos buenos, de esos que uno nunca olvida.

31 comments:

coloraita said...

Q charro te kedo

Anonymous said...

me encanto el video, tremendo cagazon q le hicieron al gringo hahaha, pero como gozaba con las palomas esas!

Manny Colón said...

coloraita jajaja gracias.

MORFEA said...

Manny;seguramente en tu proxima vida seras una paloma.....bien bonita,con alas peludas y super cagona,jajajajaja!!

A mi me gustan....en caldillo o en mole (Delicias culinarias de Mexico)....
Las palomas son una plaga,igual
que las cucarachas,nomas que con dos patas y plumas...

Anonymous said...

Manny,
Estar parada ahi media hora fue una agonia. Visite PR en el 2008, añorando las dóciles y timidas palomas que alimente de niña. Llevé a mi hija para q tuviese la misma hermosa experiencia.
No hago mas que agarrar la bolsa de maiz y se nos han tirado encima una mafia de palomas salvajes y hambrientas, nos empujaron, nos amenazaron y nos tumbaron el maiz las ratas con alas esas. De aqui se puede hacer un analisis de como el mantengo prolongado vuelve a los animales belicosos y agresivos... como si el mundo les debiera algo... Maiz, tal vez!

Beato said...

Me recordo esta de Primera Hora:
https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/6DOp5cbQFxQmKtu4RuEEBZ_jy5HyGS85uz1O4fXY5fg?feat=directlink

antigonum cajan said...

Las palomas aparte de lo que nuestro empirico observador comenta, crean infinidad de enfermedades. En paises con cierta cultura i sofisticamiento esta prohibido alimentarlas.

De hecho en grandes ciudades, son capturadas, exterminadas, como se hace aqui con gatos i perros, con mucho afecto.

Manny Colón said...

las palomas tienen sentimientos

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