Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Enfermedades de los boricuas

Opinión sobre post: 

PUERTO RICAN MEDICAL DISORDERS:

Monga:
Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever, but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of Puerto Rican origin.

Patatú:
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time. Could be serious enough to require hospitalization, yet is undetected by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the age of 50 years.

Sereno:
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of contamination is certain.

Empache:
Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una buena criolla" or "tirarse un buen peo". (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective)

Coltao:
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology. Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and chronic whining.

Moño Parao:
Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.

Cocotazo:
Also referred to as the "Fuácata". A clenched /closed cripple! Caused by left or right fingers flexed to not quite make a fist with middle finger slightly raised higher than the rest and delivered to a child's head with a quick snap to the wrist (my father's favorite).

Chichón:
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a patatú. Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a cocotazo.

Bichotitis:
This is when the "bicho" or the genitals are full of rash caused by "polvito".

Caquita:
Also known as "churra". This occurs after eating a lot of "arroz chino", "mofongo", and "malta" at the same time. Your ass becomes a machine of shit.


Si sabes de otras enfermedades, por favor comentalas en los Comments. Y si no eres boricua y tu pais tiene enfermedades raras, compartela con nosotros.

78 comments:

Shambrolita said...

Estar escricá.... Esto es una molestia que solamente ataca a las mujeres... Es causada por estar todo el día haciendo los quehaceres del hogar o por irse de shopping todo el día sin utilizar el calzado adecuado.... Claro en el último caso se siente cuando se llega a la casa....

De las imagenes a las letras said...

Mal bañado, cojotuerto, sinpararleanada y hay muchas mas.

Tendo said...

Esta "enchochao" cuando se queda en la casa y no quiere salir, ataca a los vagos y a los nerds, tambien esta "puyu" cuando te dejan con la pinga alza o el toto mojao.

nicegirlpr said...

A~o~ao = rotten spoil
presentao = nosy

la novia de tendo said...

tambien esta "puyu" cuando te dejan con el toto mojao

scanmellllllll said...

Manny:

Y que me dices del BIOCO???? te falto eso...el BIOCO es...como un patatu con desmayo y complicaciones..y delirio..como estar en un tapon del expreso sin aire acondicionado...

Andros ]+[

Marie said...

jajaja Mano yo he escuchado gente que me ha dicho nena " tu estas mas achochá ahí sin trabajar"

Tendo said...

novia de tendo... tu no eres mi novia, eres un cabron impostor...

Manny said...

tendo, controla a la novia tuya que esta con la chocha puyua

Anonima Chulita said...

Tendo q es eso, como q novia. Me debes una explicación.

Tendo said...

anonima no le hagas caso al tipo o tipa este, el que es quiere confundir, es como la comadreja, no como "Soy la Comadreja" de los muñequitos de La vaca y el Pollito, esa comadreja era la ostia.

Manny said...

tendo, la comadreja era la ostia eso es verda......

por cierto, esa "la novia de tendo"... si tendo no te quiere yo estoy disponible y no me importa ser venao

Marie said...

jajaja Tendo como es esoooo?

Tendo said...

Marie es que ahi una tal "novia de tendo" insinuando que yo dejo a las mujeres puyuas y yo no soy asi, yo las dejo con el toto mojao y despues se los limpio con la boca... yo no dejo las cosas incompletas...

Manny said...

tendo, eso es importante.. pero las mujeres comoquiera se ponen con cosas... mirame a mi que me dejaron por una tripleta...

Anonima Chulita said...

Manny todavia estas erido, bendito. Va a ver que conseguirte una jevita.

Manny said...

anonima chulita, yo necesito mas de una jeva para poder superar eso..

Anonima Chulita said...

Mira a ver, promocionate por aqui y pon tus cualidades. Bicho grande y santo, futuro gobernador de PR, etc.

Puedes hacer un concurso y la ganadora se gana una cita con el unico e incomparable Manny. jeje

Marie said...

Dito Tendo, esa tipa es una Psysho!

Marie said...

Oye... la rompehuesos es una enfermedad puertorriqueña?

Manny said...

yo no se... y rompefrio?

Anonymous said...

rompeculos pendejos

Marie said...

Esa la tubo el anonimo jajajaja

Cagalitroso said...

Yeyo: Situacion de desesperacion o enojo al ver un reguero bien cabron, el piso sucio o el cojin del mueble roto.

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